Worried about my kids..
Posted on: April 27, 2006 - 11:58pm
Worried about my kids..
Hi Robin,
Over the past few weeks I've been noticing changes in my son's mannerisms and behaviours. Normally he does very well in school, gets along well with our relatives and is quite open when having discussions with us.
More recently however, he's been withdrawn, edgy and erratic. Although we are not entirely opposed to the use of certain recreational drugs when used responsibly, we feel that he might be experimenting with street drugs which will inevitably lead him off track.
I was wondering how you would suggest we approch him about this issue. On the one hand, we don't want him getting addicted, but on the other hand we don't want to alienate him from the family.
Any ideas?
Thanks
Mary G.
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Hi Mary,
Well you hit it on the head, it is crucial that your communication be very clear and open to address this proactively. This first you will need to know is that guilt is an incredibly damaging of emotion, especially to a young adolecent so to keep this in perspective - Don't get mad, get loving and committed to breaking through this, you do not need to know how. So, work with this young man to get to the truth in a way that is really about concern and supporting this him in creating a powerful future for himself. For him to be open you will need to be in his world, and really imagine what it is like to be in his life and experience what he experiences everyday. When individuals feel completely understood and loved (without judgement ), they open up very easily.
You mentioned you are okay with recreational use of some drugs - I think the key is to provide as much information as possible and be very clear the effect, side effects and dangerous of any drug or alcohol use. Before this, you should establish if it is just experimentation or if there is an issue that he is driven to escape - two very different circumstance.
It may be a valuble investment to purchase a few books on this topic.
Keep the communication open, encourage him to engage in healthy activities such as sports, camping, whatever he enjoys and ask him what he needs, that you can provide to help him get back on track.
Also, I am on not an expert in this area so I always recommend speaking to as many experts and individuals with personal success stories as possible.
Robin H-C